Have you ever been able to just feel that you were under spiritual attack? As if the evil forces in this world have given up the element of surprise and are just coming at you head-on?
This past couple weeks have been very long!
We are preparing for RESTORE 2011, which is our fall retreat to Myrtle Beach, SC. This is my favorite retreat. Part of that is because I get to play such a major role in putting it on. I've been meeting with youth ministers from across the Carolinas since last October in order to put this thing together. Lots of time and prayer have gone into this weekend.
When you put so much energy into a single event, you are really putting yourself out there. If the event does well, it's a great feeling. But of it tanks, you have to live with that burden for an entire year.
So basically, I have set myself up as a prime target for Satan. And he has been hitting me hard. For me, it always starts with lust. He has hit me harder than usual by tempting me to lust. Everywhere I turn, there's an image of a beautiful woman who doesn't have much on.
Then his next blow comes with laziness. He tempts me to watch tv all night long instead of go to bed and read my Bible or other spiritual book. He tempts me to feel too busy to pray. He fills up my week so that I don't have time to fast. He basically has done his best to block every spiritual discipline I've tried in the past couple weeks. And he's been quite effective at this one.
Then he moved on to my self esteem. This has taken place in several different ways but the biggest is that almost all of our youth group has backed out of the fall retreat. We normally bring around 25-35 people. This year, only 14 signed up. Out of that 14, we are now down to just 6. And one of those 6 wouldn't be coming if I would have let him have a refund, but his parents won't let him back out without a refund.
As a youth minister, it is always discouraging when you put effort into an event and no one shows. But this event is my baby! Like I said, I've worked long and hard at putting this thing together and only 6 people (2 of which are myself and my wife) are coming from our group!
It has taken me till just now... a day before the event... to realize that Satan is coming at me head on, full blow. And now that I realize that, I can fight back.
The best way to fight back is to realize that if Satan has given up the element of surprise and is attacking in obvious ways, it is because something big is about to happen that he wants to prevent. That is encouraging to me. I can't wait to see what God has in store.
The next way to fight back is to push through the dull, boring times of spiritual disciplines. I'm fasting today. It is 10:00 AM and I'm starving already. But I need to push through this day in order to fight the evil in my life. My prayer life has been very stale lately, but I need to keep praying and push through the distractions. My personal study times have felt more like a boring waste of time than a time of growth, but I need to do them anyways in order to get through this attack.
Finally, I can fight these attacks by once again, coming to a dependence on God. The past couple weeks, I've struggled so much because I've tried to depend on myself. But when I am weak, He is strong... I need the power of God to rescue me from these attacks. I need to call upon God's spirit, who is living in me, for strength to stand firm.
I want to close with a prayer. If you've felt these attacks lately, please join me in this prayer:
Father,
I come to you weak and broken. My enemy is attacking me from all sides and I have no strength left to fight on my own. I call upon your holy spirit to take over this poor soul and rescue me from the hands of evil. Make me aware of these attacks and where they are coming from. Shield me from the blows of Satan's sword. Push back the battle lines of evil. Take me off the front line and bring me into fellowship with my allies. Grant me a time to rest and recover.
And then, Father, fill me with your strength and might so that I will be prepared to fight once again for your kingdom. Make me stronger than I was before.
Stand behind me so that the enemy will tremble in my presence. Stand in front of me so that I will know where to go. Stand beside me so I can lean on you for comfort. And stand within me so that I will be righteous as you are righteous and holy as you are holy.
In Jesus Name,
Amen
